I found becoming a mother a devastating experience. There was this explosion of love and attachment for someone like I’d never known before. But, I had completely underestimated how hard it would be to bring an utterly helpless being home and keep it fed via nipple torture every 90-120 minutes. Layered on that was the stress of the almost crippling anxiety that something would go wrong and I would kill my baby in a thousand different ways. He was so tiny and fragile!